Hello again strangers and friends,
As you can see, it’s been a bit silent here for quite some time. Now this has not been from lack of wanting to share, explore or be here- it has been more so a great overwhelm of what to share, how to explain, and even greater, where to start.
As I type that, I hear a small voice say, ” you could start at the beginning ” , which is brilliant in itself, if only I knew where the beginning was, or how to find it. Being I haven’t a clue, this could be messy, but I promise it will be true and kind and honest.
The past few months seem to have literally vanished on me, between this appointment and that, swimming, cooking, cleaning, sleeping, repeat..
I have gotten cuddles from my cherished little ones ( I’m just an auntie, but they are still mine.) . I was reminded just how quickly baby’s grow and change within a few months, how quickly toddlers learn and hilarious they can be, how brilliant, bright and handsomely charming a six year old is, and just how grown my soon to be 8 year old is, but how each of them can cuddle and bring loving warmth to my sometimes gloomy messy heart and soul.
I enjoyed time and space with my sister in law, whom I cherish and have come to think of her as my sister, my friend. She is someone who not only truly sees me, but she understands who I am, better than I do myself most days. I bask in the time and dynamic of our friendship and family.
I have met many more beautiful strangers, especially the elderly; they have so much to share, but seem to lack anyone to hear, much less see them. Their kindness, sweetness and light, bring me hope and peace to my journey, but they make me miss my grandparents too. In a way I think and feel connected to those I have lost through these beautiful strangers.
I have done some self exploration and processing, and I really feel like I am finally on the path to truly figuring out, discovering and embracing who I am, and slowly releasing who I am expected to be. This is absolutely terrifying and completely awakening and blissful all at once. I am seeing that it is ok and acceptable that I need time and space to process…EVERYTHING! But this is OK, and how I function the best. I am exploring my ability of insight ( this one is a up and down ride for me) learning that how I see things, situations behaviour, events, is almost always more clear (logical to me thou) then most, but it’s okay to share this when asked, and and I have the energy to do so.
I am understanding that I am allowed to and deserve to rest and take care of myself in the healthy ways I need, and best suite me. This one is still very hard for me, but I have amazing sister souls who remind and guide me back to the truth too.
The snow is falling here, and it is so beautiful in the night like this, it is truly a peaceful feeling for me to witness. It helps to remind me too, that nothing is forever, all things in life are temporary, when it’s good it’s good- when it’s bad it’s bad- this too shall pass..
So in the spirit of American Thanksgiving, let’s take some time ( comment here or just taking notice) to be grateful, and to remember all that we are blessed with.
Much love and light to all
Love and be loved my friends xoxo.