This question has been floating in my introverted mind for a few days. Do we make good bloggers? I think that the potential is there, to just allow our thoughts float out in typing instead of just internally, but that really is not how I work. I truly am one of those people who play over what I want and need to say in my mind until I am comfortable enough to open my mouth, when typing, I reread it until I am sure I want to publish.. so in my case, I truly have not been a consistant, out there blogger. When the going gets tough (as it has been espically lately), I tend to retreat more within myself, becoming the “only speak when needed”, emotionally shut down, in the ‘I refuse to feel, so I can’t care mode.
Not a very good blogger, wife, friend..anything. Just fighting the ongoing days that continue to come, and keep coming, whether I like it or not.
So here I am, at the bottom of yet another damn hill I have to climb, and honestly, I don’t feel like I can, I am worn out on all levels, physical pain I am tired of explaining and even enduring, and mentally, I just can’t comprehend even looking up at this mountain. I am soo effing tired of the games regarding my health, but I guess that’s the point, if I quit, they win, no more payments, no more enormous file of medical history with no firm diagnosis to combat. Game Over, I lose.
I didn’t come here to complain, so moving on. When this introvert becomes more introverted, I will still make an effort to blog, to be kind, to love, to allow love in, to show up and do my best, even if its not what I expect from me. Bear with me my friends, there are a lot of mountains in my path, but I don’t want to endure alone.
Remember, everyone is facing something difficult, even if they don’t tell you, let be kind to one another, let’s do our best, and most of all, let’s love and be loved, because that is what really truly matters, love one another..